Dear Samantha Brick,
We have a lot in common, you and I. But dwelling on it more, it’s a little embarrassing to admit.
I was browsing the Orange County Register website the other day, and a link that was a little out of the ordinary caught my eye: “How plastic surgeons would treat Samantha Brick,” posted by Marilyn Kalfus. Thinking to myself, “Who the hell is Samantha Brick?” I clicked the link. I was directed to a picture of you in a cute, simple purple dress and a plethora of statements from different plastic surgeons in my Californian neck of the woods, passing judgment on your outer beauty and describing what kind of makeover they would give you.
It was then that I saw your most popular article on the U.K.’s Daily Mail website: “‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful.” The entirety of your article, as well as the 5,000+ comments it received was great for some LOLs, and made sitting through my boring PSYC 331 class very amusing.
You wrote about how you have been smothered with gifts from random male strangers. You wrote about how you have never been a bridesmaid at a girlfriend’s wedding. You wrote about how your boss made you to change into some drabby clothes in the workplace. You wrote about how all hell will apparently break loose if a woman catches her husband looking at you.
Essentially, Samantha, you wrote about the sole reason why so many women hate you: Because you’re one hot piece of ass. And this is where all the Internet rage comes in.
Now, in my personal opinion, I don’t think you’re attractive at all. At the furthest extent of my generosity, you’re average-looking. But do I expect you to give a damn? No. And should you? Hell no.
The comments from readers solely noting your physical appearances from the pictures you have posted, and the fact that the Orange County Register would go so far as to find out what plastic surgeons would do to you for an entertaining read have given me yet another reason to lose my faith in humanity.
If you honestly believe you’re beautiful, then you are one step ahead of so many other women who are easily put down by what other people think of their appearances. Kudos to you! Your haters can go jump off a bridge. ‘Cause if anything, that is the most attractive quality anyone can have—confidence. And we’re on the same level when it comes to rating confidence on the sexy scale.
The only problem is, you weren’t writing about confidence. You wrote about your looks, and how every woman who hates you is jealous of them.
“You’d think we women would applaud each other for taking pride in our appearances … Unfortunately women find nothing more annoying than someone else being the most attractive girl in a room,” you wrote.
This is ALL your article consists of. It mentions nothing about why confidence is sexy. It mentions nothing about what women can do to put confidence into practice. You used the Daily Mail as a medium to talk about you, you, you, and what you think women are thinking.
It sounds arrogant. It sounds conceited. And it’s making you uglier every time you come out and make a comment like, “While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: My detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.”
Anyone making a comment on your face or body should be ignored. But anyone pointing out how ridiculous you sound has a valid point. How can you really expect someone to accept you for who you are, when the only glimpse we’ve caught of you is when you’re having an outrageous case of self-absorption?
I do like a lot of your other articles, though:
and the one you wrote a year later with a lot less bitching and a lot more flirting,
But my favorites are about your relationship with, whom strikes me as a dick of a French husband, particularly Why my husband says he’ll divorce me if I get fat.
Oh, Samantha. Just shut up. How can you not see how deluded your thinking (or at least the way you write) is? You’re not doing yourself any favors.
I wish every woman on this planet owned whatever kind of mirror you use to look at yourself in every day. But remember, mirrors only show physical appearances and not one’s character, so I hope these women wouldn’t have the audacity to write about what those mirrors literally reveal. That’s now become your area of expertise, and I’m okay with leaving you to it.
Yours most sincerely,
Another Beautiful Journalist